Self-worth

On my drive into work this morning I was listening to the Kidd Kraddick morning show as I do most mornings.  It is normally a fun and lighthearted distraction from the grind of the commute from Pearland to Houston.

This morning one of the hosts, Jenna Owens, was discussing her relationship struggles and issues with a boyfriend that kept bouncing in and out of her life.  Over and over again she said something to the effect that she was not "worth it" to him. Besides wanting to call in and tell her how wrong she is it made me want to make a note to myself about something to tell my daughter, Amelia, in the future.  So while sitting in stop and go traffic I pulled out my iphone and wrote the following in the notes section, "Don't let how people treat you define your self-worth and value."

My daughter is a little over 13 months old.  I've been meaning to set up an email account for her since before she was born.  (I am finally going to do it as soon as I finish this blog post.)  Below are some pictures of my sweet girl.

Here is Miss Amelia Belle when she was brand spanking new!

And a more recent picture from her first birthday

Okay, back to my motivation for starting this blog.  Growing up, my mom and dad didn't talk to me about life all that much.  I was raised in a highly conservative and southern baptist home. We talked about The Bible, a lot. While, I cherish most of my upbringing I also wish I had learned more about life while growing up instead of having to learn by experience and let's be honest by making MANY mistakes.  I do understand that children are hard to talk to and they don't always receive and apply the advice given to them but when I look back as a parent I hope I can at least say that I tried.  A quote from Maya Angelou, explains what I mean much more eloquently then I ever could.

The world that we live in has become so dark and I hope through encouraging an open dialogue with my daughter I will be able to shield her from some of the darkness.  So to wrap up this first post here is today's letter to Amelia.

Amelia,

My sweet girl, your self-worth is not defined by the way others treat you.  You and only you can define your self-worth. The plan for your arrival was made by God long before your father and I had even thought about having children.  Looking back on the wonderful experience of bringing you into this world I have said over and over again, "Why did we wait so long?" Every time I think or say this, God reminds me that your arrival was His plan and that if it had gone any other way we wouldn't have you. 

I say all this to try and give you a little perspective while you're learning to love and respect yourself.  The Lord, your father and I (and a lot of other family and friends) loved you before you even took your first breath. While trying to get pregnant we prayed for you.  When you were growing inside my belly we anxiously awaited your arrival.  The day you were born we finally knew what it was to love someone unconditionally. Your first year of life has brought us so much joy and we have NEVER been so happy.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where not everyone will love you.  People can be mean and their words and actions can be hurtful. My hope is that you will love yourself enough to not be overly affected by the cruelty of this world. At times, you will be the one hurting others. When that happens I encourage you to work to resolve the conflict.  You will not always agree with everyone but I hope that you can be compassionate and accept others even if they are different from you.  

A boy will break your heart.  You will feel like it was something you said or did or didn't say or do, neither of which are true. The simple truth is that he wasn't the right person for you.  You won't always immediately see his flaws. You will think he was perfect or in my experience, "perfect enough."  He wasn't perfect, no one is. What is perfect is God's plan for you.  Just like God knew that he would bring you into our lives he also already knows who your husband will be.  While you're waiting and praying for your husband I encourage you to explore yourself.  Learn who Amelia is, grow up, change your mind, BUILD FRIENDSHIPS, study, have a career, travel, fall in love, save money, go to church, volunteer, go on a mission trip, make memories, spend time with your parents, grandparents and hopefully future siblings.  Knowing and loving yourself will only make your life and marriage even better when that time comes. (Make sure he knows himself too, more to come on my thoughts about your future husband, this I can guarantee)

I will never be able to prevent you from having your heart broken but I hope this letter gives you a little insight for how to react when someone does. In the end, I'm here to talk about anything, anytime, anywhere and I will love you forever and ever. 

While I was trying to keep this post short and sweet...turns out I have a lot to say to my little girl.  I hope you'll read along and I hope that I make the time to post relatively often.  We'll see, I'm new at this whole #bloglife thing. ;)