Christmas wishes for my daughter

December 1st?? Say it ain't so! Whether I'm ready or not we are here, it's the most wonderful time of the year and I actually believe that. In my opinion there is no better time of the year. I love it all from celebrating the birth of our Savior to every cheesy Christmas movie ever made. I hope to write several posts before the big day but before I get started on the light hearted and fun posts I wanted to write one that is a little more heartfelt. 

This is Amelia's second Christmas and the first one that she will be more aware of what's going on around her. She is catching on quickly already. All it took for her to learn the word Santa was one quick trip into Lowe's. She was immediately captivated by a giant inflatable Santa and each time we've caught a glimpse of him since then, she has stopped everything and said, "tan ta." ADORABLE! I'm curious to see how she will do this week when we visit our first Santa with my local moms group. I hope she's not scared of him but if she is I hope I get a great picture and that we can look back on it and laugh. With toddlers that is all you can do sometimes.

I will be sure to keep you all updated on "Santagate" but for now here are my Christmas wishes for our sweet girl.

weekend in review

Friday:
I finally gave up on thinking my sinus infection was no big deal after the third day of my terrible sinus migraine. I have no idea if that's really a thing but that's what I'm calling it. I went to the doctor on Thursday afternoon and started my second round of antibiotics. I woke up in pain Friday morning but still tried to make it into the office. I finally turned around when I realized how miserable I would be sitting at my desk all day. I did some work from home, napped for about an hour and then went and picked up Amelia. We went to target to kill some time before daddy made it home. Target trips are interesting these days. Some days she will sit the whole time and just get antsy toward the end and other days she channels Evel Knievel and causes others who have either been there and forgotten or not yet experienced the joy of toddlerhood to judgingly stare us down. Normally I'm pretty good at keeping her entertained with snacks and interaction but being sick I just wasn't on my game. Here she is leading the way with the cart and letting me know it was time to head to checkout. 

Saturday:

I woke up feeling a little bit better and we headed to the grocery store first thing to beat the Thanksgiving rush. We aren't traveling for any holidays this year because traveling for both last year with an infant wore us out! My parents live in Virginia and Travis' family is in Missouri, Colorado and California. Needless to say we are SPREAD out, literally from coast to coast. We are both looking forward to some down time and I'm especially ready to get the house decorated this year. It's been fun really experiencing the holidays with Amelia this year. Last year she was still way too little to have any idea about what was going on.  No worries, we won't be alone on turkey day, we are heading to a friend's house for all the traditional festivities of football watching, wine drinking, and face stuffing. I signed up to bring all of my husband's must haves, mine too really, but he is especially particular about his thanksgiving meal necessities. His must haves include, mac & cheese, mashed potatoes and hawaiian rolls. Mine are stuffing and green bean casserole which someone had already signed up for so we're both covered. What are your family's favorite turkey day dishes? Amelia has been up and down with food lately but hopefully she'll be in a good mood and stuff her face with the rest of us. Here's our little turkey last year when the only thing she was stuffing her face with was mommy milk. 

Sunday:

I felt much better this morning but I still had periods throughout the day where I wanted to rip out my sinuses. Amelia and I both have appointments to see an allergist in December and I have high hopes that we can both find some relief from our allergy issues and avoid as many future sinus infections as possible. It was a beautiful day today so we took advantage of it because the past couple of weeks the weather has been pretty dreary. After watching our Texans lose...again, we headed to target to return some things and went ahead and bought Amelia this bounce house I've had my eye on since May. I know, I'm the world's slowest decision maker. She jumped in it at a friend's house for Cinco de Mayo and I've been considering it ever since. I'm not going to lie, our recent battle of keeping a toddler entertained definitely made the decision much easier. After bringing it home and setting it up I'm definitely glad we decided to go for it. She had so much fun jumping around and it made for a really fun afternoon. There's not much I wouldn't do to see this smile. 

What were y'all up to this weekend? Isn't it funny to think about what it was like to be sick before kiddos? "No rest for the weary"...truer words have never been spoken.

daycare: seven letters not four

A year ago I dropped off my daughter for her first day of daycare. It was Veteran's Day. My husband worked for the government at the time and had the day off so I decided to take off as well. I had been back at work for two weeks and my mom was in town from Virginia watching Amelia until her spot at daycare opened up. Although I was missing my baby girl terribly I was enjoying my time back at work. I thrive on productivity, it is a hard wired part of my personality. {Ask my husband and he can tell you that my need to be productive can be both positive and negative, haha}

Since both of us had the day off and I had already gotten somewhat used to being away from her for nine hours a day I wasn't dreading her first day but I wasn't looking forward to it either. All of my questions about her school had been answered and all of her things were ready to go. I had plenty of breast milk to send and even an extra bottle in case there was a tragic case of liquid gold loss. {All of you pumping moms know exactly what I'm talking about here}

We dropped her off around eight went on with our day which included several calls to check on her and then picked her up around two. She had a great day and took an extra long nap that afternoon from the excitement of her first day. WHEW! I was relieved, I can do this, we can do this, I thought. The rest of the week went just as well and for the most part so did the rest of the year.

In May, we switched schools because we were fortunate enough to get into our original first choice. The first time we checked out this school we learned they had a year long wait list. {Always a good sign when looking for a daycare} We put her name on the list but didn't have high hopes for getting in anytime soon. As the year went on I continued to form mommy friendships and we joined a Bible study group. Included in the group was an awesome family whose daughter went to this same school. They were kind enough to put in a good word for us and shortly thereafter we were in! {Thank you so much Billy and Lucy!} Again, I can't stress enough the importance of new moms forming friendships with other mommies. I would be lost without the great friends I have formed over the past 16 months.

There wasn't anything particularly wrong with Amelia's first daycare but this one is a much better fit for all of us. It is family owned and operated and Christian based. The values, policies and procedures of the school mirror our parenting style exactly all of which is so important when trusting other people to care for your little ones.

Okay, so what's with the title of this post? Well, there seems to be a lot of negativity surrounding daycare and I wanted to shed some positive light on it for a change. I knew I would go back to work after my maternity leave and I never knew quite how hard that would be. On top of the hormonal postpartum emotions and new motherhood emotions most new mothers are struggling with the difficult task of leaving their child in the care of others. {I say most because in researching this post I read that only about seven percent of American households are considered "traditional households" which are defined as one spouse works outside the home while the other cares for their children} So this next part is for moms who don't fall in that category and for anyone else who is curious about my thoughts on daycare.

Preface: Every situation is different, every child is different and every family is different... I'm a firm believer in do what works best for you and your family. This is about my personal experience only.

Daycare: A year in Review

Socializing
Amelia loves observing, interacting and playing with the babies in her class as well as her teachers and older children at school and outside of school. She tends to observe situations first but then is outgoing and ready to talk, laugh, dance and play.

Learning

Babies are so smart! While I was on maternity leave I felt so much pressure to make sure Amelia was learning and that I was doing all the right things to help her learn and develop. Motherhood came pretty naturally but teaching babies and small children does not. Daycare relieves some of this pressure for me and has taught us both so many things. I am able to base some of the activities we do at home off of what they've been doing at school. If I listed all that she's learned at school this post would go on and on. A funny example happened probably 5 months ago. The Itsy Bitsy Spider song came on a Pandora station we were listening to. I wasn't sure but I thought I saw her doing the hand motions. I had never sang that song to her and I knew she hadn't ever heard at home before. She was still pretty little and I thought I was probably just crazy but I asked her teachers the next day and sure enough they said that they sing that song and do the hand motions all the time. This is also a perfect example of me learning because that was the day I stopped deciding myself if she was too "young/little" for something. Now, I try really hard to follow her lead for learning and language and trying new things. 

Mommy Time

Babies are a hard work. Every single second of motherhood is worth every frustrating or trying moment but it is hard work. Some days I look forward to heading to work and accomplishing the needs of my career as well as some of my personal needs. At work I can order Amelia's next adorable outfit and quickly run to the grocery store at lunch. For the most part when Amelia is with me nothing happens quickly. The logistics of babies changes everything and definitely puts a damper on productivity. {When you read that next post on Facebook from a new mother who isn't getting anything done, don't roll your eyes, the struggle is real.} Other days, usually by Thursday the last thing I want is mommy time and all I want to do is hang out with my sweet girl. These are the days I need a little more motivation and I think the grass may be greener on the other side and at the very same time my SAHM friends are ready for Saturday and are counting down the hours until their husband get home because they can't wait for some mommy time. The grass is never greener, it's just different. 

The truth is that the hardest part about daycare is that it's hard for me. It's hard for me to drop her off and say bye while she cries and shakes her head. It's hard to trust others with a part of my heart and the most precious gift I've ever been given. It's hard to know she will make others smile and laugh throughout the day . It's hard to deal with the guilt.  All that being said, it's not hard for Amelia. Yes, she usually cries for a minute when I drop her off instead of my husband but when he drops her off, he gets a loud, "byeee," as she starts collecting toys and playing with her friends. She enjoys her time at school and sometimes when we're stuck inside on the weekend because of weather or illness, I think she'd prefer being at school with her friends. That being said, she is always happy to see me when I pick her up and that never gets old. It is just the motivation I need toward the end of the week to get my work done and get to her as soon as I can!

So for all of you mommies about to put your precious little ones in daycare keep these positive things in mind. Forget about all the negative things you've heard or that people say and try to put the mommy guilt aside. {The mommy guilt thing is an ugly beast that is almost impossible to put aside but we all need to at least try to not let it get the best of us} Do what's best for you and your family. Remember that this one time you read a working mom's blog and she said you'd look back in a year and have mostly positive things to say about your own daycare experience.

For all my mommies who have been there done that. What has been or was your favorite thing about daycare? Let's shed some positivity on an industry that watches over and cares for our kiddos day in and day out and pass on some encouragement to moms on the same journey as us! Share your experiences in the comments below!

momspirational mondays: Lauren Chandler

Hi! My name is Lauren Chandler…but first thank you, Mandy, for asking me to share about myself here on your blog! I’m a 27 year old wife to a wonderful husband Kegan and a stay-at-home mom to two precious boys. A few things about myself: I love God and strive to follow and reflect Him in all that I do and say. I also love cooking, crafting, sewing, video games, coffee, playing the piano, being outside and creating memories with my family! A fun hobby for me is taking pictures of my friends and family, you can see those here! I too have a blog here that I try to update (but that doesn't happen very often!).

I’ve been married to Kegan for almost three years – he is my other half! We are always cracking each other up and he always seems to know what I’m thinking before I even say it. He is without a doubt the smartest man I know. And my favorite thing about him is that he is always looking for ways to encourage me, lift me up & point me towards God. We have lived a lot of life in our three years, having two kiddos and all, but we have learned to trust God and each other more and more with every new turn life takes us. I couldn’t imagine living life - and especially doing the whole parenting thing! – with anybody else.

This is Josiah David, my tender-hearted boy. We named him after King Josiah in the Bible, who was a reformer and turned the people of Israel back to God.  We want Josiah to also grow up to be a man who will work to return people to the Scriptures and to God! Fun fact: he was due on Kegan & I’s first anniversary of marriage! (But he came two days later.) He is 3 months shy of two years old and I have loved watching him grow and learn! He is shy at first, but once he comes out of his shell he will have you laughing in no time! A few of his favorite things to do are helping me cook, dancing, being outside in the dirt, playing with toy trucks, painting, visiting his grandparents and reading books.  He is all boy with a heart of gold. Josiah is very compassionate and affectionate, too! He loves to kiss, and is very caring and protective of all of his ‘babies’ (stuffed animals). He has to every single one of them tucked under his arms before he goes to sleep!

And this sweet face that you see above is Judah Amos. His name means “praise” or “man of praise”. We want Judah to grow up to be a man whose life is full of praise and thanksgiving to God. He was born at home this past June and has been the most lovely addition to our family. He is a very happy and smiley baby, which I am so thankful for! He has the sweetest grin, with two little teeth on the bottom. He is also in the 95% for his weight! We can’t wait to see his personality come out as he grows up. I would be totally fine if he never grew up though – this little chunk is the sweetest snuggler.

When we only had one child, Kegan and I did all of our parenting duties together - from Josiah’s bathtime to middle of the night wakings.  We never expected the other person to handle any task on their own. Because of how committed we were to participating in all of those things together as a team, we learned to trust and depend on each other for support in a whole new way prior to having children. Now, with two under two, we have built upon that solid foundation and have adapted to a “divide and conquer” style of parenting. Now a days, the only way to make it through to bedtime in one piece is to split up who does what for each kid. It took some time (and a lot of grace with each other) to figure out our new groove, but now we have a system that works for us! Being a parent and raising babies is hard work, but we make it through the nitty-gritty by trusting God and leaning on each other for support.

At the end of a particularly hard day, I will always tell myself that someday down the road I’m going to miss these moments. The moments when I’m exhausted and I’m up for the fourth time that night nursing the baby back to sleep…The moments when I’m frustrated and the toddler is sticking to my leg like velcro, pulling my shirt saying “Mommy? Mommy?”…The moment when I’m overwhelmed because of my “to do” list but my son wants me to read the “Snuggle Puppy” book for the ninth time in a row…These are all the moments that I am needed, wanted and loved unconditionally by my babies. Sometimes it’s hard to see it in those all-too-often situations, but I try to keep in mind that these boys will be men before I know it, so it’s okay to let the dishes and laundry and dust pile up for today, and to cherish those moments with them as my little boys.

 

Dear Josiah and Judah,

I remember the exact moments I laid eyes on both of you. You both took my breath away, you are my pride and joy! I hope you know that being your mom is such an honor for me and the greatest blessing.

I want to thank you for something. Some people think that the parents are the ones who teach their children all about life, but for me that statement couldn’t be more opposite. You two are the ones who are teaching me! You have shown me what it looks like to have unadultered faith of a child. I’ve learned, through you, how to find joy in the simplest of things as I see the world through your eyes. You have painted a picture for me, to help me understand the love God has for me. You have helped me realize the depth of His sacrifice for us, and for this I thank you! Thank you for teaching me to peel back the layers of selfishness I had built up from before I knew you two. There are more lessons coming my way, I’m sure! So thank you in advance for those too…

I pray that you will grow up to know God and His son. He has a plan for your life and has made you uniquely YOU. Know that you are able to face any situation in your life with His help.

And know that your daddy and I love you with our WHOLE HEARTS!

Love, Mommy

be the change

I'd like to start by saying thank you so much to everyone who participated in the survey.  Although the questions were basic, it gave me some perspective on where the majority lie in regards to feminism. You can check out the results yourself by clicking here: Survey Results  

I know I've left you all hanging for way too long on this post. Life has been cray to say the least. {MY BAD} I am actually really glad I didn't get to this post as quickly as I had planned because the more I thought about it the more my thoughts on the subject changed. More on this later but in the meantime, I'm sure at least a few of you are wondering where this topic came from to begin with so here we go...

Recently, my husband and I have been at odds about some of my feminist points of view. Our disagreement came as a surprise to me as we tend to agree on most things. In my frustration, I decided to do some research and organize my thoughts and opinions in a blog post. I wanted to prove my point to him and anyone else who doesn't see things my way. {I enjoy being right, I am often wrong and am usually quick to admit it but yes, I enjoy being right}

Over the past few weeks, I worked on a rough draft but I just never found the time or inspiration to finish it.  I found it difficult to put all of my thoughts into words and after a while I wasn't even sure I cared to finish the post. I sat on my thoughts for a few days and tried to pinpoint exactly how I felt. Here's what I came up with:

1. It's okay if everyone doesn't understand my point of view.
2. It's okay if people view feminism negatively. 
3. I can only change myself; I can't change others. 
4. God created men and women equally. {"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galations 3:28} *Side note-we were created equal but differently and one of the contacts I reached out to, Shannon Kirkpatrick, pointed this out to me and also that he believed these differences should be celebrated and not forced into oneness. Thank you for always giving me your informed perspective, Shannon. I took your thoughts to heart and was blown away with how something so simple could transform my perspective*
5. Proving my point doesn't solve anything. 

The last point I've listed really challenged me because I wanted to write about this on MY blog for ME but I kept coming back to whether or not my post would help solve anything. Then, while driving into work, I heard this passage being read on KSBJ, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

God has an awesome way of pointing things out to me when I least expect it. I've heard this verse a thousand times.  Normally I would have tuned it out but for some reason I listened closely and out of all the words in this passage these stood out, "...It does not insist on its own way..." These words were confirmation that proving my point wasn't important and that showing and giving love is what's important. I knew then that my old post was no longer the direction I wanted this discussion to go. 

Instead, I want to start a positive discussion with action behind it. All too often we as Christians and "keyboard warriors" have an opinion about everything and feel the need to tell people how to live their lives. For me, it's time to stop being that person and to start being the person that follows what Jesus said in Mark 12, "Love your neighbor as yourself..." Mark 12:31. 

So instead of "proving my point" and insisting on my own way, I'm going to try to be the change I'd like to see in the world. I want to use the platform of this blog {small as it may be} to help others. I thought a lot about what I could do to make a difference {insert blank stare emoticon here} and then I came across, of all things, a Facebook post that was like a flashing arrow from the BIG Guy upstairs. The post was from a friend of a friend, they were requesting baby items for a teen motherhood program for a local high school. I knew instantly that this was something that I not only have the ability to do but it is also something I really want to do. I want to show love to young mothers and mothers to be and help them be successful despite their difficult circumstances. {without judgement or any other strings attached}

I have a lot of research to do and this idea is still very new but I think with enough hard work it could be great. My first plan of action is to find a program or organization to get involved with. My second plan of action is to organize a baby item donation drive. If you know of an organization or program for young expectant mothers in the Pearland or Houston area please comment below. Also, if you're someone with baby items lying around don't give them away or sell them just yet. My goal is to get the donation drive organized before the end of the year. So set your items aside and save them for these mommies and mommies to be! {When I say baby items, I mean everything it takes to care for babies: clothes, diapers, wipes, formula, baby food, blankets...}

Thank you again for participating in the survey and being apart of God working in me. I hope you will join me on my quest to make a difference!