A year ago I dropped off my daughter for her first day of daycare. It was Veteran's Day. My husband worked for the government at the time and had the day off so I decided to take off as well. I had been back at work for two weeks and my mom was in town from Virginia watching Amelia until her spot at daycare opened up. Although I was missing my baby girl terribly I was enjoying my time back at work. I thrive on productivity, it is a hard wired part of my personality. {Ask my husband and he can tell you that my need to be productive can be both positive and negative, haha}
Since both of us had the day off and I had already gotten somewhat used to being away from her for nine hours a day I wasn't dreading her first day but I wasn't looking forward to it either. All of my questions about her school had been answered and all of her things were ready to go. I had plenty of breast milk to send and even an extra bottle in case there was a tragic case of liquid gold loss. {All of you pumping moms know exactly what I'm talking about here}
We dropped her off around eight went on with our day which included several calls to check on her and then picked her up around two. She had a great day and took an extra long nap that afternoon from the excitement of her first day. WHEW! I was relieved, I can do this, we can do this, I thought. The rest of the week went just as well and for the most part so did the rest of the year.
In May, we switched schools because we were fortunate enough to get into our original first choice. The first time we checked out this school we learned they had a year long wait list. {Always a good sign when looking for a daycare} We put her name on the list but didn't have high hopes for getting in anytime soon. As the year went on I continued to form mommy friendships and we joined a Bible study group. Included in the group was an awesome family whose daughter went to this same school. They were kind enough to put in a good word for us and shortly thereafter we were in! {Thank you so much Billy and Lucy!} Again, I can't stress enough the importance of new moms forming friendships with other mommies. I would be lost without the great friends I have formed over the past 16 months.
There wasn't anything particularly wrong with Amelia's first daycare but this one is a much better fit for all of us. It is family owned and operated and Christian based. The values, policies and procedures of the school mirror our parenting style exactly all of which is so important when trusting other people to care for your little ones.
Okay, so what's with the title of this post? Well, there seems to be a lot of negativity surrounding daycare and I wanted to shed some positive light on it for a change. I knew I would go back to work after my maternity leave and I never knew quite how hard that would be. On top of the hormonal postpartum emotions and new motherhood emotions most new mothers are struggling with the difficult task of leaving their child in the care of others. {I say most because in researching this post I read that only about seven percent of American households are considered "traditional households" which are defined as one spouse works outside the home while the other cares for their children} So this next part is for moms who don't fall in that category and for anyone else who is curious about my thoughts on daycare.
Preface: Every situation is different, every child is different and every family is different... I'm a firm believer in do what works best for you and your family. This is about my personal experience only.
Daycare: A year in Review
Socializing
Amelia loves observing, interacting and playing with the babies in her class as well as her teachers and older children at school and outside of school. She tends to observe situations first but then is outgoing and ready to talk, laugh, dance and play.
The truth is that the hardest part about daycare is that it's hard for me. It's hard for me to drop her off and say bye while she cries and shakes her head. It's hard to trust others with a part of my heart and the most precious gift I've ever been given. It's hard to know she will make others smile and laugh throughout the day . It's hard to deal with the guilt. All that being said, it's not hard for Amelia. Yes, she usually cries for a minute when I drop her off instead of my husband but when he drops her off, he gets a loud, "byeee," as she starts collecting toys and playing with her friends. She enjoys her time at school and sometimes when we're stuck inside on the weekend because of weather or illness, I think she'd prefer being at school with her friends. That being said, she is always happy to see me when I pick her up and that never gets old. It is just the motivation I need toward the end of the week to get my work done and get to her as soon as I can!
So for all of you mommies about to put your precious little ones in daycare keep these positive things in mind. Forget about all the negative things you've heard or that people say and try to put the mommy guilt aside. {The mommy guilt thing is an ugly beast that is almost impossible to put aside but we all need to at least try to not let it get the best of us} Do what's best for you and your family. Remember that this one time you read a working mom's blog and she said you'd look back in a year and have mostly positive things to say about your own daycare experience.
For all my mommies who have been there done that. What has been or was your favorite thing about daycare? Let's shed some positivity on an industry that watches over and cares for our kiddos day in and day out and pass on some encouragement to moms on the same journey as us! Share your experiences in the comments below!
Since both of us had the day off and I had already gotten somewhat used to being away from her for nine hours a day I wasn't dreading her first day but I wasn't looking forward to it either. All of my questions about her school had been answered and all of her things were ready to go. I had plenty of breast milk to send and even an extra bottle in case there was a tragic case of liquid gold loss. {All of you pumping moms know exactly what I'm talking about here}
We dropped her off around eight went on with our day which included several calls to check on her and then picked her up around two. She had a great day and took an extra long nap that afternoon from the excitement of her first day. WHEW! I was relieved, I can do this, we can do this, I thought. The rest of the week went just as well and for the most part so did the rest of the year.
In May, we switched schools because we were fortunate enough to get into our original first choice. The first time we checked out this school we learned they had a year long wait list. {Always a good sign when looking for a daycare} We put her name on the list but didn't have high hopes for getting in anytime soon. As the year went on I continued to form mommy friendships and we joined a Bible study group. Included in the group was an awesome family whose daughter went to this same school. They were kind enough to put in a good word for us and shortly thereafter we were in! {Thank you so much Billy and Lucy!} Again, I can't stress enough the importance of new moms forming friendships with other mommies. I would be lost without the great friends I have formed over the past 16 months.
There wasn't anything particularly wrong with Amelia's first daycare but this one is a much better fit for all of us. It is family owned and operated and Christian based. The values, policies and procedures of the school mirror our parenting style exactly all of which is so important when trusting other people to care for your little ones.
Okay, so what's with the title of this post? Well, there seems to be a lot of negativity surrounding daycare and I wanted to shed some positive light on it for a change. I knew I would go back to work after my maternity leave and I never knew quite how hard that would be. On top of the hormonal postpartum emotions and new motherhood emotions most new mothers are struggling with the difficult task of leaving their child in the care of others. {I say most because in researching this post I read that only about seven percent of American households are considered "traditional households" which are defined as one spouse works outside the home while the other cares for their children} So this next part is for moms who don't fall in that category and for anyone else who is curious about my thoughts on daycare.
Preface: Every situation is different, every child is different and every family is different... I'm a firm believer in do what works best for you and your family. This is about my personal experience only.
Daycare: A year in Review
Socializing
Amelia loves observing, interacting and playing with the babies in her class as well as her teachers and older children at school and outside of school. She tends to observe situations first but then is outgoing and ready to talk, laugh, dance and play.
Learning
Babies are so smart! While I was on maternity leave I felt so much pressure to make sure Amelia was learning and that I was doing all the right things to help her learn and develop. Motherhood came pretty naturally but teaching babies and small children does not. Daycare relieves some of this pressure for me and has taught us both so many things. I am able to base some of the activities we do at home off of what they've been doing at school. If I listed all that she's learned at school this post would go on and on. A funny example happened probably 5 months ago. The Itsy Bitsy Spider song came on a Pandora station we were listening to. I wasn't sure but I thought I saw her doing the hand motions. I had never sang that song to her and I knew she hadn't ever heard at home before. She was still pretty little and I thought I was probably just crazy but I asked her teachers the next day and sure enough they said that they sing that song and do the hand motions all the time. This is also a perfect example of me learning because that was the day I stopped deciding myself if she was too "young/little" for something. Now, I try really hard to follow her lead for learning and language and trying new things.
Mommy Time
Babies are a hard work. Every single second of motherhood is worth every frustrating or trying moment but it is hard work. Some days I look forward to heading to work and accomplishing the needs of my career as well as some of my personal needs. At work I can order Amelia's next adorable outfit and quickly run to the grocery store at lunch. For the most part when Amelia is with me nothing happens quickly. The logistics of babies changes everything and definitely puts a damper on productivity. {When you read that next post on Facebook from a new mother who isn't getting anything done, don't roll your eyes, the struggle is real.} Other days, usually by Thursday the last thing I want is mommy time and all I want to do is hang out with my sweet girl. These are the days I need a little more motivation and I think the grass may be greener on the other side and at the very same time my SAHM friends are ready for Saturday and are counting down the hours until their husband get home because they can't wait for some mommy time. The grass is never greener, it's just different.
The truth is that the hardest part about daycare is that it's hard for me. It's hard for me to drop her off and say bye while she cries and shakes her head. It's hard to trust others with a part of my heart and the most precious gift I've ever been given. It's hard to know she will make others smile and laugh throughout the day . It's hard to deal with the guilt. All that being said, it's not hard for Amelia. Yes, she usually cries for a minute when I drop her off instead of my husband but when he drops her off, he gets a loud, "byeee," as she starts collecting toys and playing with her friends. She enjoys her time at school and sometimes when we're stuck inside on the weekend because of weather or illness, I think she'd prefer being at school with her friends. That being said, she is always happy to see me when I pick her up and that never gets old. It is just the motivation I need toward the end of the week to get my work done and get to her as soon as I can!
So for all of you mommies about to put your precious little ones in daycare keep these positive things in mind. Forget about all the negative things you've heard or that people say and try to put the mommy guilt aside. {The mommy guilt thing is an ugly beast that is almost impossible to put aside but we all need to at least try to not let it get the best of us} Do what's best for you and your family. Remember that this one time you read a working mom's blog and she said you'd look back in a year and have mostly positive things to say about your own daycare experience.
For all my mommies who have been there done that. What has been or was your favorite thing about daycare? Let's shed some positivity on an industry that watches over and cares for our kiddos day in and day out and pass on some encouragement to moms on the same journey as us! Share your experiences in the comments below!
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