I'm not a Proverbs 31 woman and that's okay

Whoa! It feels good just writing that. I've been feeling pretty inadequate lately and today just pushed me over the hypothetical ledge.

This month has felt never ending and way too busy. Mostly because I overcommitted and made things priorities that should have just been options. Like most of us, I wanted Christmas to be perfect this year and for the most part it was but I'm not sure it was worth the added stress for me or my family. In fact, I know it wasn't.

This is so hard for me to admit. I am a typical Type A personality and not someone who enjoys making mistakes. {not that anyone really does but you know what I mean}

Replaying today's events brought me back to leaning on Jesus, the only one that can truly bring my spirit rest. It also leaves me kicking myself for not turning to Him sooner which starts a vicious cycle of self deprecation.

Why didn't I take this to God sooner, why  haven't I been exercising, eating better and everything else that I know makes me feel better in general. Then I remember that I haven't been doing these things because I filled my time with being the best working wife, mother, daughter, friend and blogger that I could be. Then I question why I'm not better at all of these things. Why am I not perfect like the virtuous wife God talks about in the Proverbs 31 passage? I blame myself some more and decide to wake up even earlier than 4:30am so that I can spend time in the Bible and excercise before work. Which I dread even as I tell myself that's the solution.  

Is that even the solution? I don't know. I came across this article before starting this post that gave me some hope after reading this post that made me feel like even more of a failure. 

As usual, I know there is no perfect balance or solution but once again I'm going to do my damnedest to try and make it all work. I may not be a Proverbs 31 woman but I'm also not a quitter. 

For now I'm just reminding myself that I am enough and in case you need the reminder, you are too.